What did they leave in there!!

So, it has been 7 days and the post op instructions say to take the bandages off.  So, here we go. 

Before I do that, let's remind everyone what my gorgeous neck looked like on January 18th 2011.  I loved my neck.  It was definitely not top model long or anything but I was pretty sure it was going to look good for a while without having to visit some sort of plastic surgeon for some nicking and tucking till later. 

And now, ouch, bandages coming off kills.  Oh, my goodness, I am feeling very nauseous as I look in the mirror. 

What the hell?  What the hell is in there??  Didn't they take stuff out??? 

If they did, then why does it look like Dr. Nichols put something in there.  Maybe a tracking device so he can monitor my behaviour?  Or, he can come find me and whisk me away to Hawaii - sorry Lennie but he is hot!

Also, what is with it looking lumpy, again if they took stuff out why not smooth and gorgeous like before!!  

I think everyone in the operating room decided they would have fun to see who could put their hand farther down my neck.  They each took turns, removed their watches and whoever could get to their elbow, they win - congrats nurse Ratched, you win and my neck is still killing me! 

Oh, and another thing while I am on a rampage, why is my neck the size of a mature tree trunk??  Even my face is huge and swollen.  Stop it!!!!  I can't stand looking at myself - thank God I really can't drive the car and go anywhere - kids will scream and think I am a new elephant lady - Jesus!!!!  (nothing against people with that ailment - I am just venting here) 

How the hell will I be covering this scar up for the rest of my life - scarves already make me look fat.

I need ideas - and don't say tattoo - that is another story to come later on this weekend when Megan takes me to get one ;)

Hugs - but don't hug me too tight as I still can't move my neck!

Seriously Lucky

I was going to write today about how the surgery went but really it was pretty good and aside from a ton of neck pain (last time my throat killed me) I am resting well. 

Lennie did snap this photo of me only a couple of hours after the surgery.  I was still on oxygen but only for a little as this time, my anesthesiologist was awesome and it did not take forever to wake up like I did last time.

2 interesting notes of the hospital stay, the nurses were amazing and did whatever they could to make me feel comfortable - I refused to take the pain meds as I didn't want to screw up my colon and at 2:00am when they had to come and get my blood once again, they reminded me that I would sleep so much better if I was pain free and they were right - 1 pill and nightie night.  Secondly, a PSW came 4 times to help me figure out what I could eat knowing I was trying to stay with the vegan diet but also the fact that I couldn't really swallow so she found me Popsicles that I sucked on and it helped soooo much.  They totally went out of their way.

Last interesting note was the fact that Dr. Nichols called me at home once I got released.  A surgeon calling a patient at home?  Are you kidding me?  Nope, called to see how I was.  Unfreaking believable.  Lennie says he has a crush on me - don't think so as I gave him a really hard time about the scar again. 

I did want to reflect on the kindness and friendship that I have once again been shown in my life that I have received over these past couple of months but really in the last week. I have received the most beautiful messages, flowers and not 1 but 2 edible arrangements arrived just in time as my brother Jeff was visiting and he and Lennie went to town on all the chocolate covered apples.  They were sent from my Aunt Sandy and her daughter Kimmy's family - delicious.  Also, my special teacher friend Lynn sent a basket and it was soooo thoughtful. 

If you know me, you know that I take a bath everyday so of course Krystal and Rich created a beautiful gift bag of bath salts and relaxing teas to make the resting even more enjoyable.  I really have appreciated the calls, hugs, texts and support from my Suzy, Lish and Lindsay - great girlfriends.

I was remembering in 2007 when I was diagnosed with Crohns disease and spent several weeks in the hospital.  I remembering being totally overwhelmed with the generosity of my family and friends and this time has brought back so many fond and special memories of the support that people have provided to me throughout my life. 

The Pratts once again sent the most beautiful tulips.  I split the 2 dozen into 2 vases and have the flowers all over the house.  My mom and dad sent a delicious fruit, nut and chocolate care package.   My Aunt Shirley Ann and Uncle Doug (who are away on a trip) sent the most amazing flower arrangement and I love the container they used as I will reuse it this summer for my cut flowers.  And lastly, my dear friend Niki sent a gorgeous yellow and blue (my favourite colours) arrangement to my hospital room which arrived the moment I was moved from recovery - perfect timing Niki! 

So now that I am home, my house looks like a flower shop and I love it. 

Thank you everyone for caring so deeply.  I must admit that with social networking so prominate these days, the humor of people's posts make the days so much better.  I appreciate everyone taking a moment to reflect on my situation and saying the kindess things.  What was a huge help was my brother Johnny and his family in Seattle helping my mom understand the situation and taking lots of time to call, gather information and be able to share it with them in Florida - thanks Johnny and Vicky. 


My favourite thing of course is Lennie who took care days from work to be home and help me with everything.  I think there is a higher power at work here because if I hadn't gotten Crohns disease and learned to ask for help I really don't think I would be coping as well and Lennie learned to be so strong for me from that difficult situation. 

A cool thing also is Megan who has spent a lot of time researching what I can eat and prepared the most amazing meal for us.  She prepared falafals on pita bread with tons of veggies - delicious and totally vegan - good work Meggie!

Hugs to all.

Carpe Diem

Are you one of those people who reads the last page of a book first?

Well, I am...so here is the ending. I have cancer. 

Thyroid cancer...papillary carcinoma to be exact. 

Another surgery and a round of radiation within the next 6 weeks.  Needless to say I was upset.  I do not want another surgery or to have to miss more work to deal with this.  I did promise many people that I would take time off this round to rest and recoup properly.  I will be the first to say that I needed more rest before I came back from the first surgery.  Awaiting a neck ultrasound to check my lymph nodes and then surgery will be booked :(

I really wasn't that surprised when Dr. Nichols read me the pathology report.  Call it woman's intuition or call it the "C" factor. 

My entire life has been defined by the letter C.

Growing up - cookies, crafts, chocolate, crayons, cousins
Teen years - crushes, curling, corsages, camp, and culture (France)
20s - colitis, college, Calumet, Corona, cottaging, corporate Canada, crosswords
30s - camera, Creative Memories, children, cinema, casseroles, cats, coffee
40s - Crohns disease, casino, calories, climbing (rock), cooking, Chicago marathon

So you see, this just fits into the "C" factor my life seems to define itself by. 

I wonder what the future holds? 

Cruise?  Cycling?  China? Caribbean? Chanel :)? celebrations? cellulite, comedy? compassion? Creme Brulee? cashmere? Cancer free!!!!

What a pain in the neck!

Well, the surgery is done - only 2 hours in length.  Dr. Nichols said it went really well and now we wait until February 15th for the verdict on if the Hurtle cell is the cancerous kind - I really do not believe it is and I usually have a good sense about this stuff.

I didn't realize how much of a pain in the butt a neck surgery is.  Everything I tried to do killed me - swallowing, talking, moving, coughing and don't get me started on sneezing.  My neck is quite swollen and didn't realize that the inside is swollen too.  It feels like I have a lump in my throat and in an essence I do.  My voice is quite bizarre now too.  I am definitely not sounding the same, it is not possible to yell in anyway and I can not talk for long without getting quite tired - they said this would happen because of the vocal nerve being so close to the thyroid.  I am pretty lucky that I am not teaching right now as I would never last all day talking and would not be able to get anyone's attention without any voice power. 

What really sucked was the recovery room.  I really did not do well - it took me 4 hours to get awake enough to be moved to the next recovery room to go home. I was in so much pain that they gave me a ton of morphine and then tried to get me to swallow a Tylenol 3 - that didn't happen so well.  Then, every time they took me off oxygen my blood levels dropped and they had to put me back on the air.  Then, whenever they tried to move me, I would throw up - eventually when they got me to the car and Lennie was about to pull away, I throw up again - I guess I do not do well with anesthesia.

I did receive some beautiful flowers from my mom, Lish and Lindsay, some delicious spaghetti from Suzy and a wonderful visit from the Dimitroff's with baby Katie.  Lennie was a trouper and took 2 care days to be with me and I really could not have made it without him as I was a mess on Thursday and Friday.  Megan came and babysat me too when Lennie went to basketball.  Even Scotty came over to give us more Sons of Anarchy videos to watch - he kept making me laugh and it killed my neck - jerk!  My brother Johnny and sister in law Vicky called to chat, Rene from work, my mother in law, and brother in law called too to check in.  Nice that so many people care.

I did venture out yesterday to get some air, groceries and got weighed at Olympic Fitness.  Lost another 5.2 pounds and am in 2nd place overall.  Cool.  I am not to work out for a couple of weeks so will have to make sure I am walking everywhere and sick to my diet. 

Stay tuned for the update from Dr. Nichols next month.

Thanks for everyone's support.

Hugs