A Rough Go

I am not going to lie, I am having trouble with all of this. I know, I know "but it's only thyroid cancer", "it's not one of the bad ones", "you will recover from this". Yes, I know. A lot better people are going through a lot worst situations than me.

Here is the problem I am having with all of this and the biggest problem with thyroid cancer... I no longer have a thyroid. It's gone, zero, zilch, zippo left. Your thyroid is your control bridge of most of your bodily functions. It's your motor.

The primary function of the thyroid gland is to make thyroid hormones. The hormones are known as thyroxine (T4) and triiodothyronine (T3).  These are vital hormones that help control functions in your body such as metabolism, heart rate, blood pressure and body temperature.  The hormones are also related to the functioning of the heart, lungs and brain.  Patients who’ve had surgery to remove their thyroid gland, take a synthetic version of T4 as a daily pill.  (Synthroid and Eltroxin are the brand names of levothyroxine [T4] in Canada). The body makes use of the T4 and converts most of it to T3. (http://www.http//www.thyroidcancercanada.org/index.php)

Try being a car, having your engine removed and then being told to go race the Indianapolis 500. You couldn't do it. You have no energy, no metabolism, and definitely no stamina. Sure, they have me on a synthetic drug to replace the hormone but it is just not the same.

Imagine being overweight and a slug and they take out the one thing that could help you...so now, bigger and sluggier!!!!!

I have tried to move forward, even walking the past couple of weeks and then running this past week. I thought I was feeling strong but my times are pathetic. I am running the Chicago marathon in 175 days and need to find the endurance I once had.

I am feeling low and I haven't had the big meeting to confirm if and when I get the radioactive iodine treatments (RAI).  On Friday I met with an endocrinologist who said I was in the "grey" area and will pass me on the top endo for thyroid patients.  Apparently, if you are 45 (I am 42) and have a nodule of 4cm (mine was 3) you go instantly to treatment but she was not sure what to do so pass me to the next person - I like that as this person will know my treatment plan for sure.

So, the next time you see me and you think she is recovering well from thyroid cancer, you are right but don't tell me "it's the good one" please don't say that because to me what I have "lost" is killing me inside.