Failure IS an Option

Let's be honest.  I am not what you would call studious.  I have never been and probably never will be but, I have always respected smart people and admired their ability to think.

In January I did something that a lot of people will think is nuts, I did something that some will not believe...I applied to Western University to start my Doctorate of Education.  (I'm still surprised I completed a Masters of Education).

"That is not big deal", some might say.  But if you knew me, my educational background, and the fact that I am not so bright, this application will come as a shock.  Why would I apply for such a tough program when I am not so bright?  Well, because I can.

Here is a picture of my grade 7 first term report card.  If you look closely, you will see that I failed math and my work habits sucked! IMPROVEMENT NEEDED across the board.

While preparing the application for the EdD I spent a lot of time reflecting.  I realized that I have overcome more than my share of failures along the way to this new goal.




- I realized that I failed a few subjects in school and even a university course but that didn't make me dumb, just pointed out that I was lazy.
- I realized that I had a few meetings with people who I greatly respected telling me that I should never be a school administrator but that didn't make me not a leader.
- I realized that I have lost friends not living up to their expectations but that didn't take away from me being a best friend to Megan.
- I realized that I shed way too many tears over relationships that I thought were "the one" on my way to meeting Lennie the true "one" in my life.

By Merriam-Webster's http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/failure definition I am a failure;
       1 a : omission of occurrence or performance; a failing to perform a duty or expected action
          b (1) : a state of inability to perform a normal function (2) : an abrupt cessation of normal functioning
          c : a fracturing or giving way under stress
       2 a : lack of success
          b : a failing in business
       3 a : a falling short
          b : deterioration, decay
       4: one that has failed

I have failed to perform, I was not successful, I have fallen way too short of many goals (just read my blogs about trying to break 6 freak'n hours in the marathon).

My failures have been hard times, often with me figuratively falling down.  What is your natural instinct when you fall?  To get up, brush yourself off, walk straighter and faster right?  Well, I have gotten up every time.  Some times more slowly than others but I always get up - usually with the help of great people in my life.

I can hardly wait to start Western for the EdD program (yes I got in).  It doesn't mean that I am a success but it does mean that I have overcome failure.  In my world, failure IS an option in order to grow, learn, and be better than you were yesterday and that is something we all should be striving for and modelling for those around us.

When was the last time you failed and what did you do about it?

10 Things To Tell the 23 Year Old Me

There has been a lot of blog posts lately and even some videos on YouTube where people are talking about what they wished they had known when they were younger.  One of my favourites is http://kateelizabethconner.com/ten-things-i-want-to-tell-teenage-girls/

I too, wish I had known so many things 20 years ago.  Good and bad, it would have saved a few tears years later.  Here is my list that I would tell my 23 year old self.

1. Fail.  You are going to do this a million times in your life and if you do not get some adapting skills now, you will look like a idiot when you do not get that job at 33 and when you suck at your new found hobby of running at 40 - where you will finish last in a ton of races.  Failure is normal, needed, and important to be continually growing.  You need to learn now that you are not perfect and things are not going to be easy.  Learn to cope now!

2. Stop Worrying About Not Having a Best Friend.  Your elusive search will come to an end when Megan walks into your life in 2000, so for now, enjoy being a friend instead of having one.

3. Start a Bucket List.  Having your dreams written down is the first step to accomplishing them.  You and Lennie will make lists at 38 but trying to cram a lot of stuff in is not easy (and expensive).  Make your list now and start stroking off some of the coolest things ever - you will run a couple of marathons, meet the Backstreet Boys, travel to Africa, and get your Masters so no dream is too big - write them down.

4. Stay the F%^& out of the sun.  Yes, you look better with a tan but the wrinkles that magically appear on your forehead and NEVER go away no matter how much money you spend will be there forever...and get worst.  OK, if you are going to be in the sun, will you at least wear sunscreen and a hat?

5. Be Nicer to Lennie.  Yep, stop being that jealous, moody, freak for so many years...no need to act that way ever!  He will stick around through thick and thin. Oh, and listen to him when he wants to do something fun, don't be a stick in the mud or you will miss out on some really hilarious times.

6. Get Laser Hair Removal.  This is the only really vain and expensive thing I am going to tell you.  It hurts like hell but is totally worth it when you have to go to the hospital in January 2007 and can't shave for 3 weeks.  You will totally feel so much better knowing that under the sheets is not bear's legs.

7. Start Running.  I mean it, I know you are not a runner but I do not want you to start running to torture yourself, I want you to start running as a way to relieve stress.  You are going to need to have an outlet other than food to deal with the stress of work, life, and more work.  Running will help because it will clear your mind AND you will meet the greatest people along the way.

8. Spend more time with your family.  I realize that you do a lot of holidays with them but your grandparents will not be around forever (they will live past their 90s and 100s but still, they are fabulous and worth every minute) Oh, and make sure to take more photos, you will scrapbook for years and appreciate them over and over again.

9. Go to the Doctor Sooner Yes, you are tough and we all know that but, that does not mean you need to suffer for so long, so many times.  You have Crohns disease and at 23 you already know that something is majorly wrong so go get it look after so you do not have to suffer for 15 more years.

10.  Forgive Yourself.  You will make stupid mistakes, say stupid things, hurt people, and yourself.  GET OVER IT.  No one is perfect, and people will forgive you so why not forgive yourself.  Living in regret, pity, and sorrow for so long does no one any good.  You are better than this, stronger than this, and worth it,