Sugar Ridge final reflections

Cats enjoying the Diva Den already

I'm home and had a great sleep.  I was so thrilled to see my husband, talk to my bestie, parents, and snuggle with my cats.  I feel amazing and have already instituted several changes that align with my learning.  The best coolest thing is that while chatting while my husband while I was away, he recognized that I needed a space for myself to do yoga and meditate so he moved his stuff out of a room we deemed the "man's room" and into our TV space therefore allowing me to move into his old space.  Not only did he move his stuff out, he moved a bed and desk into the space for me.  I shared this with the guests at Sugar Ridge and asked them to brainstorm a name for the space and of course my funny roommate came up with "Diva Den".  Not that I'm a diva but I love the name.  Today I moved some more photos in, brought my yoga/meditation stuff in, and found some of my favourite things to put in the space to make it special and to be able to be surrounded with awesome things.   I am going to order/purchase a couple of the special yoga pillows to keep my back in a good position and sitting more comfortable.

Reflecting on my time at Sugar Ridge I did wish many more people could go and experience the relaxation, peacefulness, and importantly, life lessons learned.  But, what I have also learned is that if you are not ready to attend and not chose to attend as your own idea then the program won't be as effective as it could be.  I was ready for this and sought it out on my own to be a more effective friend, daughter, wife, and leader for our school.

I joked that I wish I had a shirt that says "What would Liz say" to replicate the quiet voice of our leader Liz Frost.  What a gift she is to this program and all of us.  I did spend a lot of time journaling throughout the program and was able to record some of her best teachings.

I really appreciated that she did call me out on my BS as to why I do what I do and act the way I do. She is a tough cookie (and a therapist when not running these retreats) so is totally legit when she tells you that you are lying to yourself, being too hard on yourself, or using distorted thinking strategies. I was happy to hear and see alignment between some counselling sessions I have attended here in London and what she taught us.  Hearing from another perspective about my unhealthy thinking strategies made them even more real and importantly, needing to change.

This place was easy to attend if you are ok with bugs, living in a cabin without it's own toilet, sharing a restroom, walking around in slippers and dressing very casually (no one wore make up and still looked gorgeous), family style eating, participating in a group therapy type sessions, and meeting new people.  I really wish it was 2 weeks long to continue the daily yoga and to really master the meditation practice but, real life needs to be real and getting home to work on myself needs to start sooner than later.

Thank you Liz for all your wisdom...

"What is mindfulness? Training and controlling your mind to pay attention"

"Nothing lasts forever"

"Perspective is everything"

"The pain you know is easier that the pain of where you may go"

"Notice the thoughts you have and challenge them"

"How do you create your own suffering and how can you alleviate it?"

"Be careful of your ownership of your emotions i.e my depression' because when you are not 'depressed' you won't feel like yourself"

"Recognize what it is instead of what it isn't"

"Opportunities don't go away, they go to someone else"

"Yoga means...union of mind and body"

"Does it make sense that I am putting energy into this memory?"

"If you can't find a minute to meditate then you need an hour"

"Are you at work when you are not at work?"

"What does that thought say about you and is it true?"

"Your body isn't who you are"

"You can grieve more than death and dying, you can grieve the lost of an expectation"

"Feel the boredom and learn to live with it"

Day 5 - silence

Today was unbelievable.  After 4 days of 8 sessions and many hours of learning we attempted a 6 hour silence session.  We didn't have yoga this morning but did get up, take showers, and eat breakfast.  Breakfast had eggs, fruits, delicious muffins, and oatmeal,

We all met in the studio and settled into our nests (our personal yoga spaces).  Liz then walked us through 10:00-12:30 of complete meditation strategies non stop and were not allow to speak.  We did a short sitting practice, then standing practice, walking practice, some yoga, then lying down and a final sitting practice.  It went really well and I was able to stay "pay attention" almost the  whole time.  I had a terrible sleep last night and was worried I would fall asleep today but I didn't.


We broke for lunch and continue our silence until the afternoon session 1:30-4:00 pm. Liz gave us lots of information about the importance of honoring our silence and to not make eye contact with others.  The reason for this was because I owe it to the others to honor their practice.  The staff had been advised that we will not be speaking during lunch and they didn't interact with us or expect thanks etc.

During lunch I sat outside in the sun and actually felt amazing.  I loved the morning and the extreme peace and quiet. I remained in practice the whole time and because of the yoga was able to sit crossed legged for the last practice.  Lunch was soup, amazing potato salad with greens.  When you are in silence it really makes you eat more mindfully because you are not engaged in conversation.  Some people walked, rested, but most people I saw were sitting in silence or journaling.

The afternoon session was tough.  We did multiple practices included lying down and I was very worried about sleeping but Liz told us if we were getting tired to keep our eyes open.  I worked very hard to complete all the practices but by the end I was pooped but very proud.  One of the practices was called "love and kindness" and it certainly made me tear up as you had to imagine someone who loves you unconditionally.  I thought of my parents then my grandmothers.  We had to imagine they were here and we were talking to them.  Thinking of sitting with my grandmothers was very moving as they were awesome ladies who I miss often.  Then we were to think about allowing that caring relationship for ourselves.  Turns out we are pretty hard on ourselves which definitely let me here.  Liz says that what we tell ourselves we would never say to anyone else and that we need to stop speaking so negatively to ourselves.  It was powerful stuff once again.

Once the afternoon session was over, Liz asked us to paired off and shared how we were feeling then did a large group debrief of the day.  We then formed a circle and reconnected by looking at each other eye and already starting to laugh and chat again.

Dinner was so good as they made a peanut African stew (something we ate when we visited Africa and loved it).  Another guest and I have been working on a jigsaw puzzle so we have been sitting and chatting while trying to get it finished before the retreat is over.  We are so close to completion.


After dinner we all met in the lobby at 6:00 and drove about 10 minutes to the Wye Marsh to go canoeing or kayaking.  We didn't know what to expect but we had the best time.  About 5 people kayaked and the rest of us all got into a huge war canoe and paddled around the marsh.  We saw frogs, birds, a ton of flowers, and fish.  The kayakers saw a beaver which was super cool for the guest from Australia.  The weather was perfect for us to see and hear about the local history and the swan's life in the marsh.  The area has amazing trails for the summer and winter and if I had a school around here we would visit often to see all the animal informational sessions.

After the canoeing we came back and a guest had made a fire again in the pit and the some of us sat in the lounge gabbing again.  Everyone is very tired from today and some of us have headaches from working so hard.  Lots of people went to bed early or started packing.

Tomorrow we have a session 10:00 - 12:30 then lunch with final discussions to wrap up.  I have bought a couple of gifts for me, Megan, and my roomie who has been so fun.

I wish it was 2 weeks long as I want to be able to really remember what I have learned here and transfer all the learning home. I love all the guests and am so happy I came.

Ready to Grow

Tonight I have all my stuff ready to go and I am excited to head north to Sugar Ridge Resort for their MBSR
(Mindfulness - Based Stress Reduction week retreat.

As I mentioned earlier, my motivation to attend this week is due to the fact that I feel I need to learn more skills associated with my mental (positive optimistic thinking) fitness before I reexamine my physical fitness.

The resort provides everything you need except towels and personal items so it looks like I have packed a lot but I just want to have many clothes to change into since there will be tons of yoga and outdoor activities.  Plus, who knows how the weather will be or how hot it will be at night so I am bring a lot of change of clothes.

Lennie said to bring our fancy camera so that I can capture some photos of the beautiful grounds that the resort is situated on.

The resort is just over 3 hours away so I am hitting the road in the AM to give myself lots of time to get there.

I had to complete a full "get to know you" form to send ahead of the trip so that they can meet my needs and provide anything special needed.  I don't have any dietary needs but I did say that I am looking forward to more yoga practice and especially the afternoon mindfulness workshops.  I wonder what I will be able to transfer to work and school.  Maybe use with some of our students?

The schedule for the week is:

Sunday July 23
1 – 3 arrive and settle into your cabin
3 – 5 pm  Introduction and course orientation
5:30 dinner
7 – 9 pm workshop

Monday – Wednesday July 24 – 26
7:00 – 8:15 optional Yoga class
8:30 breakfast
9:30 – 11:30 am workshop
12:30 – Lunch
2:00 – 4:30 workshop
5:30 dinner

Thursday July 27
8:30 Breakfast
10:00 – 4:00 workshop (lunch today is part of the workshop schedule)
5:30 dinner

Friday July 28
7:00 – 8:15 optional Yoga class
8:30 breakfast
10:00 – 11:30 am workshop
11:30 – 12:30  closing discussion
12:30 Lunch

I love yoga and was really into it in 2005-2007 when a couple of my teaching partners encouraged me to join Moksha yoga here in London.  I was going several times a week for 90 minutes of hot yoga and my practice really improved.  I joined The Yoga Shack a couple of years ago and again loved going and practicing.  But, my practice stopped when I started running and then completing the doctorate.  I now have the time and energy to start again.

Wish me luck.