Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Patience is a virtue...

Experience has taught me this, that we undo ourselves by impatience. 
Misfortunes have their life and their limits, their sickness and their health. 
~Michel de Montaigne

I consider myself a rather patient person.  I have been known to wait in extremely long lines for sale items at Canadian Tire.  I waited a long time for a job I wanted.  I am very patient with my hubby (ok ok ok not really but pretty good).  Traffic jams do not bother me and I don't even really mind people being late.  But, when it comes to this cancer thing being over...I am done!!!

Yesterday was my 2nd appointment with an endocrinologist.  I needed a 2nd appointment because the first doctor said I fell into the "grey" category and she recommended I see the top doc.  My situation was described as "grey" because of my age, size of tumor and health history.  These endocrinologists are the nicest and smartest people I have met and they definitely have the patience of Job...but not me.  They have outlined for me the next steps with my cancer treatment and quite frankly I am having a hard time with it because it is going to take a long time until it is a thing of the past. 

It is really 3 processes that I am involved in that are bugging me. 

Firstly, is the regulation of my daily medication.  I take .175mg of Levothyroxine each morning and I require blood tests to determine if the hormone levels are normal or not.  I had the blood work done yesterday but will not know if my levels are "normal" until I receive a letter next week telling me the results and if I need to adjust my medication.  Everyone is telling me that it may take years to get my levels normal - argggggg!

I want to know now if they are normal as I am feeling weird.  So many side effects from this drug that is keeping me functioning.  The yuckiest things have been happening to me; heart palpitations, being nauseous, muscle cramps, being anxious, confused and, my husband would point out my agitation and lack of ability to sleep even though I am wiped out.  So, I am not being patient about what the letter will say next week and want to know now if this is "normal".  The doctor said yesterday "the fact that I am feeling so abnormal is normal".  Oh goodness.

Secondly, I have to have 2 tests to determine if I have any more thyroid cells in my body; a neck ultrasound and "special blood test".  I have the ultrasound scheduled for June 30th but that is not the problem.  In order to have the "special blood test" you have to stop taking your daily drug and endure 3 weeks of the consequences of an under active thyroid which may include fatigue, muscle cramps, puffiness and constipation.  Great, try preparing for a marathon in that state! 

So, there is another option now.  There is a a drug called Thyrogen which you can have while continuing to take your daily medication.  You take the Thyrogen in a needle form on a Monday and Tuesday and have your blood test on a Friday to read your levels.  Great right?  No need to be a slug, you can function almost normally and it takes a lot less time.  Here is the big problem....there is no Thyrogen available!!!!!!  I spoke to my pharmacist and she stated it is back ordered until at least July 7th and even then, they are not sure if a Canadian shipment will arrive.  The endocrinologist says that they can not do the test unless I have the Thyrogen because it is hard to bounce back from being off your daily meds for 3 weeks. 

Lastly, once I get my neck ultrasound, finally get the Thyrogen, do the 2 doses, wait a week to get my blood work, the they will schedule the radioactive iodine treatment. 

Don't get me started on this thing!

For this treatment, I have to be hospitalized and placed in isolation for about 3 days after taking a pill of radioactive iodine in order to minimize the risk of radiation exposure to others. Since the RAI is passed out of the body through all bodily fluids such as stool, urine, saliva and sweat are potential forms of contamination. You must be hospitalized in a special isolation room so that all of your bodily fluids may be disposed of properly. You will be served your meals on paper plates with disposable utensils. Your urine and stool will be collected and disposed of in proper radioactive waste containers. Your bed sheets will be specially laundered. Personal items such as pillows, stuffed animals, or needlepoint should not be brought into the isolation room since these items will become contaminated with radioactivity. Newspapers, magazines and paperback books are allowed because these can be thrown away. In addition, all nurses, doctors and housekeeping personnel who enter your hospital room must wear a special badge to monitor the amount of radiation that they are exposed to. Only brief visits are permitted.

On the third day you will be scanned for residual disease and then discharged, after the hospital's radiation safety officers have determined that the level of radiation is low enough for discharge. 

So, I will try to practice some patience and I will try to be as normal in this abnormal state but if you see me and I am a tad anxious, nauseous, confused and tired, you will understand why. 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Finally a Break...through

"In running it is man against himself, the cruelest of opponents. The other runners are not the real enemies. His adversary lies within him, in his ability with brain and heart to master himself and his emotions."

I have been thinking about this quote a lot recently and today was the day to prove it.

I participated in a 10k called Run for the House for the Ronald McDonald charity.  My friend Tracy told me to run it and I was excited because I signed up 6 weeks ago even before the Forest City Races.  I knew that in order to start running faster, I needed to train faster and compete in short races to practice my pacing.  So, do you remember back on May 1st when I ran a 1:17 but only after 2 weeks of training and 4 weeks post op?  Well, today is 8 weeks post op and I have been training well including a lot of cross training with the On Your Left cycling team.

I must admit that prepping for today was not perfect.  The training went well but the last couple of nights have been busy.  Went out Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday and had a couple of cocktails ta boot.  I did eat some pasta last night and watched my water yesterday and made sure I ate something this morning when I got up. 

I had Lennie drop me off so I didn't need to carry keys.  As soon as I got there I saw my buds Sheila, Lisa, Andrea, Leanne, Rene and of course my running motivator Glen.  Glen and I have been chatting about races for many months and I was excited for him to run too with his son Tyler.  Glen is really fast and I have been following him on Daily Mile so it is great to remain motivated when the site holds you accountable to all those that follow you.  Check it out at http://www.dailymile.com/.

They called the racers to the start line and we were off very quickly.  There were only about 60 runners so I knew that I would be in last place for most of the race and that I had to remain focused and not discouraged.  (the 5k started after us so I had to be prepared to be passed by them too :( Wasn't sure of the route as there was no map - I hate that because I am such a visual person but I just trusted the race. 

I have run in the park system a million times so I knew the path and they had big kilometers signs up.  I made sure that I clicked my watch at every kilo marker so that I could only watch my pace.  It was all about 7:30 today because my goal was 1:15.  I needed to remain under or near 7:30/kilometer in order to hit my goal. 

The first km sucked and I was not breathing well and already had my stupid heart rate and temperature go way up (something I will be discussing tomorrow with my endocrinologist.).  Once I hit the first kilo marker I looked down to see 6:33, holy smokes, I am OK and doing well.  The rest of the kilometers flew by 7:00, 7:09, 7:24, 7:23 holy @#$% I was at 5k and still way ahead of plan.  

7:32, 7:44 and then I saw my friend Rene's husband and kids who cheered for me so I told the kids to pull me along (Rene's 7 year old son said no because I would be too heavy) it was so cute.  They kept running and cheering all the way to the 8k marker 7:48.  I passed the start/finish line and started to see people heading back - nice change as I was not alone anymore.  I hit Saturn park and all of a sudden a teaching friend Alicia came out of no where from another charity event.  She said hey and ran with me all the way to the 9k marker chatting and encouraging me, 7:46.  I was now 1k from the finish, and feeling amazing.  I rounded the final corner and could hear Rene and Glen yelling "go Zed go"  Glen ran beside me saying, "look at the clock it is only 1:13 and you are killing your goal".  I crossed the line and hit my watch - it said 1:13:41.  SWEET!!! (official clock race time says 1:13:46)
I did it.  I finally set a running goal, stuck to a plan and did a PB.  I realize this is no big deal to anyone else and real runners are thinking "what a slow poke" but really I do not care as it was about sticking to a plan and executing it.  December 2009 I ran a 1:21, May 2011 1:17 and today 1:13 - progress!

I also practiced several skills that I have read about and been working on.  One was pacing up a hill and then really "giving it" for the top 1/3 and the other was every once in a while sprinting in order to engage your fast twitch muscles. 

I could not be happier or prouder of finally having a break through with my running. 

Chicago training starts next Sunday and I bought myself a brand new Garmin in order to pace and distance really well.  5:45 on Sunday, October 9 2011 is totally possible now!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

LOVE

Recently I have been watching the new TV show called Mad Love. It is a cute comedy about singles in New York but not like Friends, it is more poignant and shows the characters real deal with their flaws.

What I really like is the opening credits in which the creative team has many forms of the word love flash by i.e. true love, crazy love and first love etc.

It always makes me think of a car game Lennie and I have played many times in which we think of a word and the other person has to share a form of the word and you go back and forth until the other person can not think of a word. My favourite one is using the word star - star bright, north star, starlet etc.

So, here is the reason for this week's blog. I have been a tad grumpy and focusing on things I hate because of my frustration with how I am feeling, looking and thinking. So, I thought I should share a list of things I love in order to help focus on positive things.

I LOVE....

My parents - unconditional love
Jeff, John and Dwayne - brotherly love
Lennie - only love
Tigger - my love
Candy - mad love
God - higher love
Teaching - true love
Megan - "real" love
Running - strange love
Gardening - everlasting love
My house - love of my life
Paris - lost love
Utah - unconventional love
Brian S - first love
Traveling - universal love
Cooking and Baking - last love
Nieces and nephews - sweet love
Jack and Emma - baby love
Cancer (yes I love it because of how it has helped me) - tough love
Canada - endless love
Working out - unrelenting love
Slots - blind love
Tom Cruise - puppy love
Scrapbooking - past love
Watching TV - undying love
Back Street Boys - modern love
Eating Vegan - fresh love
Scotty P - indescribable love
My new job - all for love

I know there are many more and would love to hear from you about your loves.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Back In The Saddle

Today I ran the 10k race of the Forest City Road races. There were many races; 1/2, 10k, 5k, and 1k. All my Biggest Loser friends from Olympic Fitness were there and I wanted to see where I am at with my fitness level after the past 4 months. I have only been running the past couple of weeks but I have been trying to walk and ride my bike to stay active.

The weather was horrible. Two minutes before the race started it poured and continued the whole race plus it was so windy. I was totally soaked and the weight from my shoes, shirt and socks weighed me down. I was remembering that 1 year ago we were in Cincinnati running the Flying Pig 1/2 marathon and we had such great races and fun.

Last night I met the girls and some cycling friends for dinner and I was feeling so excited. However, I did not sleep at all - happens before every race.

Needless to say with all my races there was some good news and bad news.

Good news - set a personal best time
Bad news - still took me 1:17:13
Good news - no pain what so ever
Bad news - I have lost the ability to "get into another gear"
Good news - I wasn't last
Bad news - finished 432/463
Good news - almost kept my pace at my goal of 7:30
Bad news - my pace was 7:46
Good news - wasn't last in my age group or last women
Bad news - I did finish 31/35 in my age group and 289/316 in my gender group
Good news - Lish paced me thru the first 3k at sub 7 pace
Bad news - when she left I fell right off
Good news - I did not do my 10:1s
Bad news - had to walk up the Talbot street hill

I have a lot of work to do before June 5th when Chicago marathon training starts. I will be running the Run For the House 10k race on May 29th and will run 1:15!!!!

I am heading back to work tomorrow and I will do my best to stay positive and be life balanced.

Hugs